The past 48 hours have been quite the roller coaster of emotons! I've been trapped squarely in the middle of disappointment and elation. Of course, there is absolutely nothing over which to be disappointed, but that's human nature, right? We all want to win, haha. Today, however, has been a potentially life-altering time for me - all for the good, and all from not placing first.
This morning, I decided to take the funicular up to the summit of Monte San Salvatore (the highest easily accessible point in the area). I promise that I'll post pictures soon! While there, and while enjoying the breathtaking 360 degree view, I had the wonderful fortune of sitting on a bench all alone. This wasn't just any bench, and I wasn't only somewhat alone. This bench was on a rocky promontory about a quarter of a mile from the nearest person. While enjoying the stunning view, I began reflecting on the week, specifically the competition. I'll admit that I'm not as frequent in prayer as my proclaimed religious affiliations would imply, but in moments of relative (or total) solitude, I tend to turn in that direction.
Over the course of the next ten minutes, I was granted a decidedly large epiphany about the outcome of the week - I was shown that placing, but not placing first, was absolutely the best thing that could have happened to me at this particular juncture. During the last few months, I had become over-confident and outright complacent about my abilities. I came here fully confident that I would be completely successful, and that I was ready to, with no further adaptations, head full force into a professional career. Fortunately, though this was incredibly difficult to see at first, I was not the winner, and was able to be humbled in not too crippling a fashion. I still made a good showing, walked away with a decent chunk of cash, and (most importantly) was given the ability to confront the technical issues that an excess of self-assurance has caused.
The panel was ever so generous in both their compliments and their advice. They appreciated that I used my whole instrument, and that my voice has a large volume with a "sparkling, dramatic color." (They clarified that they did, in fact mean dramatic pretty much in the Fachsystem manner, which made me chuckle, since I've never known that to be a plus for a countertenor. They, however, believed it to be crucial in this day and age. Yay!) Three primary technical/performative issues were addressed, and they are absolutely correct - I tuck my chin when attempting to carry the head voice too low, I open up too much in the upper register (more on this in a minute), and I tend to default to gesture, rather than vocal/facial expression. It was clear that they believed me capable of addressing these issues in virtually no time, and they whole-heartedly encouraged me to continue on the competition circuit in Europe (indicating that to be the best way to "audition" for folks here).
About the upper register...apparently, I'm listening to too many Baroque mezzo-sopranos who do just that - open up over the secondo passaggio. They could even tell me the exact singers to whom I listen, haha. They felt confident that these upper notes (mainly above F) are super easy for me, but that I don't do myself any favors in singing them the way I do. Most crucially, I am pushing sharp up there. It was said that one must never be sharp in Europe! (Quite the difference from the "it's better to be sharp than out of tune attitude in the US, eh?) They encouraged me to find a more domed shape up there, and gave me some suggestions about some aural models to examine.
One of by biggest concerns with this competition was my choice of repertoire. My program was heavy and mostly romantic, and European countertenors tend to be the exact opposite of that, when it comes to vocal quality. However, every single panelist was clear that they believed this music to be perfect for me, and that I would give any mezzo-soprano a run for her money, if I can adjust these small technical things. I can't wait to get home and get to work!
I think tomorrow will be my Day of Churches, as well as a day to do any shopping that I might do. I won't likely do a lot, but something one-of-a-kind might catch my eye. One never knows! If I'm properly motivated, I'll post pictures later tonight. If not, it'll be tomorrow. They're worth the wait, I promise! Thanks for reading!
~AJR
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment